The Loneliness Epidemic and How to Mitigate it for Your Team

by | Oct 2024 | Organizational Health, Personal Sustainability

Loneliness is an unappreciated and often unrecognized epidemic.  

When we struggle with feelings of being overburdened and overwhelmed, we probably wouldn’t characterize them as loneliness. After all, many of us are surrounded by coworkers, friends, and family each day. How could we possibly have time to feel lonely? 

However, research shows nearly one in four adults feels very lonely, regardless of their circumstances. At work, 69 percent of people report dissatisfaction with their social connections.  

That loneliness has an impact on how they engage with the world.  

People who are lonely are significantly less engaged and more likely to leave or burn out – all of which have an impact on the bottom line. In fact, it’s estimated that loneliness costs employers $154 billion annually in absentee costs alone, without even factoring in additional costs related to lost productivity or attrition.  

How Did We Get Here?  

Loneliness didn’t start with the pandemic, but it did exacerbate the situation.  

  • An increase in remote and hybrid work created physical distance that elevated the feeling of emotional disconnection between people and groups.  
  • An increase in technology made us more available around the clock, while simultaneously making us feel less connected.  
  • Increased mental fatigue is also associated with feeling lonely, so the additional mental strain caused by constant videoconferencing (Zoom fatigue) continues to exacerbate the loneliness problems modern workers face  

The loneliness that’s created in this environment is particularly insidious because it doesn’t necessarily dissipate when people come back into contact with one another. In fact, you may find that you feel even lonelier and more isolated when you are together with others.  

Loneliness can also manifest in other ways. For example, you may notice you feel lonely when you are overwhelmed with work. You can also feel lonely and isolated when you are bored.  

Leading Lonely People 

As a leader, your role is not to step in as a friend or a cruise director, coordinating activities and events to drive away loneliness. That doesn’t work, because loneliness isn’t impacted by the quantity of time you spend with your people, but instead by the quality of the interactions they are having and by their capacity to engage and receive them. Instead, try these ways to evaluate your people and environment, and determine whether they are getting the attention they need to thrive.  

  • Are you giving more time and attention to the people who are not doing well? This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, just something to be aware of. If you are investing all your time in the people who are struggling out loud, you may be missing the chance to invest in others who are having an equally hard time but just doing it more quietly.  
  • Are you acknowledging your exceptional performers? High performers often don’t get attention because they are not the squeaky wheel. They are trained not to complain and to view any indication that they can’t do something as a sign of weakness. As such, they keep taking on responsibility while being more disengaged. They don’t talk about their loneliness; they just keep shoving it down and isolating until they’ve finally had enough. Then they leave the company abruptly without giving you the chance to repair the relationship or assuage their frustrations. And often, they don’t even end up in a better place, finding the loneliness persists even when they move roles because they haven’t dealt with the root issues.  
  • Are you creating connection? Loneliness isn’t about forced sharing and it isn’t about getting people together to socialize. Those are fixes that can help, but they don’t get to the root of the issue, which is strong connections that increase the engagement and vitality of your team.  

How to Handle Loneliness  

An easy suggestion for handling loneliness is forcing people back into the office, using physical presence as a shorthand for mental and emotional connection.  

This isn’t working.  

Instead of pushing your people back to the office, attract them back to the office – and to deeper connection – by making sure the time they spend together actually matters. For example, instead of telling people to pick a couple of days to come in to work, ask these questions as a leadership team:  

  • What are you trying to solve by having people in the office?  
  • Have you communicated that message clearly and purposefully?  
  • Have you gotten feedback on that message from team members? 
  • Have you been willing to buck organizational dictums that don’t work for your team?  

As a leader, it is your job to create connection that means something to your people. Make them feel purposeful and engaged, so they are energized by the opportunity to collaborate, instead of emotionally drained by the thought of being forced together and confronted with competing priorities.  

It’s become almost a danger zone to say that your team is like family, because many people automatically think of unhealthy and toxic family dynamics showing up. However, if you are committed to being a people-first workplace, you want some of those healthy aspects of family to be part of your workplace and to drive out some loneliness, including:  

  • A willingness to be there for each other, and to be reliable, even under stressful conditions  
  • Healthy communication that is respectful and that encourages connection 
  • Helpful challenges that motivate team members to do their best work 
  • Respect for each other’s boundaries, which can range from honoring time off to respecting the ways you like to work and collaborate with one another 

These attitudes are helpful and healthy in any relationship. At work, they make it possible for people to get the most from their effort, rather than spending the day drained and having nothing left to give at work or home.  

When we consider the impact of loneliness, we can also consider the flip side – the healthiness that comes from consciously cultivating connection. We can make strides for a more connected path that honors our biology and a feeling of belonging and value that empowers us to do our best work. 

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